By Jenny McCoy
Lady Gaga’s outfit made of meat continues to be the talk of the music world in the wake of the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards (which also saw the singer stand up against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” wear one of Alexander McQueen’s final designs, reveal her new album title and win eight awards, including Video of the Year). In fact, it has become such a phenomenon that we are absolutely certain that the outfit will become this Halloween season’s biggest meme. With Halloween candy already eerily occupying shelves in drug stores throughout America, we predict the meat dress to have a Halloween presence similar to the way everybody went as the Joker in 2008 (following Heath Ledger’s memorable performance in “The Dark Knight”).
With that in mind, here’s a step-by-step guide to creating your own Lady Gaga meat dress for Halloween! Frighten your friends! Upset your butcher! Freak out the livestock!
1. Choose your cuts wisely. Any fashionista knows, it’s all about making your outfits work for you, baby. Choose cuts that accent your figure. Rocking a six pack? Leave the prime rib out and flaunt it! Got some junk in the trunk? Accentuate that action with some sweet rump roast!
2. Preservatives and marinade. You’ve got a big night ahead of you — a marathon, if you will. And if you’re like us, you need a costume to stretch through several different parties, which is why you’ll need to take care of your meat. Work with basic curing techniques (salt, pickle brine, dehydration) or work your way up to industrial-strength preservation (plastic coating, shellac).
3. Bring the right side. Couples costumes are a mainstay of Halloween parties, but if you’re taking on the meat dress, you need to be sure you bring an appropriate side. Make sure your date goes as a baked potato, a Cesar salad or a medley of peas and carrots.
4. Drink appropriately. Depending on your choice of meat, remember that your drink will vary. If you’re going for a straight Gaga imitation, though, we recommend a nice Merlot.